St. Joseph, a Model of Trust When Facing the Unexpected, by Marie Thompson

I have always felt a special love for St. Joseph. Our family adopted him as our patron saint when I was pregnant with our third child. However, now that we have two boys who have extensive medical and developmental disabilities, I feel even closer to St. Joseph as the perfect patron for parents of children with disabilities. Jesus, of course, did not have any disabilities. But St. Joseph knew very well what it meant to be thrown a curve ball, the unexpected gift.

We can only imagine what thoughts and emotions were deep within St. Joseph’s heart when he found out that Mary was pregnant, although we do know that even then his impulse was to protect Mary in her vulnerability and to divorce her quietly, despite the Mosaic law that adulterers should be stoned. Then again, what must he have felt when the angel told him that the child in Mary’s womb was the Son of God and that it would be his vocation to protect and raise him! Out of all the men in all of salvation history, God chose Joseph to protect and raise the one who is most precious to Him, the Word incarnate, His only son. It’s easy to imagine that St. Joseph probably felt humbled and even inadequate for this unexpected task. Yet, he entrusted his future to God.

Traveling many miles with Mary while she was so pregnant, finding the best he could provide for the birth of Jesus was a stable, and then later being told by the angel to flee to Egypt so baby Jesus could escape the wrath of King Herod, were all unexpected difficulties. As a father, he may have wondered how he would provide for his family in a
foreign land where he probably didn’t speak the language and didn’t have his building tools. It is no wonder that one of St. Joseph’s titles is patron of the afflicted. Yet he was steadfast, unwavering in his trust and obedience.

When I became pregnant with our fourth child, Gabriel, my husband and I were told that he had a brain malformation. This would likely cause him to have trouble breathing, eating, walking, and talking, among many other challenges. Every doctor’s visit was more bad news, and most of our fears were confirmed when he was born. Our son needed a trach and ventilator to breathe, a feeding tube, and he has global developmental delays. He is also nonverbal. Our fifth child, Caleb, also had the same diagnosis. I have found myself calling on St. Joseph’s help in many frightening circumstances, knowing that he would understand. When you are scared of what’s around the corner, it’s such a blessing to have a powerful advocate.

Like my grandfather, St. Joseph seems to have been a man of few words. There are no quotes attributed to him in Scripture. But he was certainly a man of action—of decisive, obedient action—because he trusted God. His trust continually deepened with each new task appointed to him through an angel in his dreams. In his book, Fire of Mercy,
Heart of the Word: Meditations on the Gospel According to St. Matthew, Erasmo Leiva- Merikakis (now known as Father Simeon) asks:

Why is it that God cannot reveal his designs once and for all? Why must Joseph be continually dependent on God’s next word, wherever and whenever it might come?

Leiva-Merikakis

I’m sure many of us have had similar sentiments regarding God’s will in our own lives. Merikakis answers his own question by explaining that Joseph,

…continues to grow in the grace and love of God, and he cannot do this without experiencing the trial of fidelity and perseverance in looking for God.

Leiva- Merikakis

As we reflect on his continual, and even heroic, faithfulness, we see that Joseph,

ceaselessly waits for God and God for Joseph.

Leiva- Merikakis

This beautiful back and forth—of waiting for God and God waiting for us—is probably what most of us who have children with special needs experience as we look to Him to reveal His plan for our children. We grow in trust as we surrender our visions of what we think our lives should be to the Lord as the detour of our unexpected life unfolds.

Now that Gabriel and Caleb are 10 and 7 years old and bring so much light and joy to our lives with their unique personalities, I can look back at the time of their infancy as a time of spiritual growth despite the grief. I was called to trust in God as never before, and I believe St. Joseph helped with that. May we call upon him to remain with us and be our powerful advocate. St. Joseph, pray for us!

Reference: Leiva-Merikakis, Erasmo. Fire of Mercy, Heart of the Word: Meditations on the Gospel
According to Saint Matthew. Vol. 1. (San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 1996), 90