What To Do When Your Child Hates Therapy, by Anne Jones

As a special needs parent, it can be a juggling act to fit your child’s therapy into your weekly schedule. It makes it even harder when taking your child to therapy or the therapy session itself leads to an emotional meltdown or battle. It can be easy in these situations to feel stuck between a rock and a hard place; on one hand, knowing how important therapy is for your child’s development, but also questioning whether it is worth continuing for the emotional toll. So, what do you do if your child hates therapy? Here are some questions to consider and suggestions that have been helpful in my own experience.

Consider the logistics around the therapy:

• Is this your child’s first time in therapy?
• Is your child struggling to separate?
• Has the familiar routine changed, whether that is the therapy place, time, the provider, or a big event in your child’s life such as starting school or a new sibling?
• What else is going on during the day of your child’s therapy session (such as other therapies or coming off a long day at school)?
  

Also consider the therapy session itself:

• Is the therapist putting too high of task demands on your child, causing your child to be frustrated with the activities or exercise requirements?
• What supports during the session does your child need to be more successful?
• Is the therapist incorporating your child’s strengths and interests into the therapy session?
• What motivates your child?
• Are the goals and/or the practitioner a good fit for your child?

If the issue seems more related to a new experience or separating, whether for the first time or with a new routine or provider, it is understandable that it may be take a while for your child to adjust. Give it time and try to make the experience as fun as possible. You can always try being in the room with the therapist and slowly ease your way out of the session as your child gets more and more comfortable over multiple visits. You can also ask if the therapy clinic offers at-home therapy options or if your child can bring comfort items from home. Some may or may not depending on the clinic’s policy, but this could be a way to give your child a familiar environment even if the routine or provider is different.

If the issue seems be to around timing, consider if your child could benefit from a different day or time, especially if his/her day is already busy and your child may not have the capacity to fully participate in therapy. Even giving a window of downtime prior to the session for a snack and sensory break after school may be enough to help after- school therapy sessions go better. If it is a new, bigger change in your child’s life, you could also consider taking a few weeks or month break from therapy to allow your child to ease into the new routine.

If the issue seems to be more related to the session itself, I encourage you to advocate for your child. While you may not be a therapy expert, you are the expert on your child and his/her needs! Your advocacy could significantly help the therapy session go better for both your child and the provider. Therapy should be client/family-centered, meaning that it prioritizes your child and family’s needs and goals. Therapy should also build off your child’s strengths: his/her interests, skills, and the support structure in place around your child. For example, if your child is into cars, the therapist can incorporate this interest into the session to work towards goals in areas of speech, fine/gross motor, and even life skills (like how to cross a street safely). If the therapy activities aren’t related to their area of interest, perhaps the last part of the session can be focused on this special interest as a motivation to participate. If your child is comforted by knowing the sequence or timing of tasks, advocating for supports such as a visual schedule or timer can help improve sessions too.
Also, don’t be afraid to advocate for motivation to be incorporated into sessions, even if you need to help provide it. Sometimes, it may be helpful to give motivation (like a sticker on a sticker chart) after each completed task during a session. Other times, children can be motivated by a reward at the end (i.e., playing with a favorite toy at the clinic) or working towards a bigger reward over multiple sessions. Using your child’s interests to help motivate them to participate may help your child ease into therapy or work through challenging tasks.

Finally, if you get to a point where you have tried changing logistics, supports, and motivations and your child still hates therapy, advocating for a change may be needed. This could be a change in goals–perhaps your child is getting too frustrated with a task and needs to take a break and circle back to it further down the road. It may even come down to a change in provider. Sometimes, a provider and your child just don’t “click” well together and a new provider can bring a different approach or energy that fits better. This can be a very challenging situation as a special needs parent and often it can be hard to know what the best decision is!

If your child hates therapy or has in the past, share suggestions of what has worked well for your family in the comments below!