Faith Over Fear: An Advent Reflection, by Anne Jones

As a special needs parent, one of the biggest struggles for me is not letting the fear take over. Sometimes, it is not letting the toll of caregiving make me worry how I will get up the next day and do it all over again. Other times, it involves my son’s medical needs and concerns about treatments or surgeries on the horizon. I fear I am not advocating enough with his school, doctors, or even our parish. Then, of course, there is the thought of what might happen when we are no longer able to take care of him. 

A few weeks before Advent, the Sunday gospel reading was that of the poor widow giving her two coins at the temple. Jesus pointed out that the widow, “from her poverty, has contributed all she had, her whole livelihood” (New American Bible, Mark 12.44). Listening to the gospel, I was struck by the widow’s example of faith. In giving her whole livelihood, did she have moments of anxiety about what would happen? Yet, she gave it all and, in doing so, placed her future in the hands of God. Since listening to this gospel, I keep coming back to this theme of cultivating faith over fear as a special needs parent.

Focusing on God’s Will and Trusting in Him

In his book, Five Loaves and Two Fish, Francis Xavier Nguyễn Văn Thuận, a Vietnamese archbishop, who was imprisoned for thirteen years, talks about following God’s will, writing, “I choose you, your will; I am your missionary here” (Nguyễn 20). It has been important in my choosing faith over fear to understand that God has chosen me to be my son’s parent, that it is God’s will that I am just that. Reflecting more deeply on this helps me better embrace the trust that I am enough and that he will help me accomplish this mission, even on the most difficult days. Francis Xavier Nguyễn Văn Thuận goes on to describe one of his frequent prayers in prison as, “I am living the testament of the love of Jesus” (Nguyễn 50). It is a beautiful reminder that all I am called to do is to radically love the child in front of me. If I keep choosing God and this type of radical love, I can more confidently hand over the fear to him. “Jesus, I trust in You” is such a simple, yet beautiful prayer of surrender for those moments of worry or anxiety. 

Recalling the Presence of God

This Advent, our pastor has challenged us to recall the presence of God in our daily lives. Remembering that God is there in all the good and the bad as well as the seemingly mundane moments of the day—the caregiving, the same question over and over, the constant paperwork—gives me strength. 

Turning to the Holy Family

Turning to Mary and St. Joseph to ask for their intercession with keeping our faith over fear can be helpful, too. The Christmas story brings a moving reminder of their faithful witness to following the will of God. How much trust did they put in God for their well-being in traveling to Bethlehem in the late stages of pregnancy or fleeing to Egypt to escape a king who wanted to kill their child! 

We may or may not experience material poverty as special needs parents, but I would guess that most of us have experienced emotional poverty. We can feel fearful, lonely, forgotten, and exhausted, among other things. It can be extremely hard to be unable to get answers for your child’s condition or to watch your child medically decline. Your heart can hurt not knowing if your child will gain certain skills or be accepted and loved by his peers. 

But the thing that I was also struck by in the gospel story was that Jesus saw the widow. It is a powerful reminder that God sees us too. He knows you personally– your fears, your struggles, your efforts, your love. This Advent, he is asking us to put those “coins” in as our offering of all our fears and to place our trust in him for the now and the future ahead. May you have a faith-filled Advent and a joyful Christmas. 

References:

• The Bible. New American Bible, revised edition. Washington D.C., Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, 2010, https://bible.usccb.org/bible.
• Nguyễn, Francis Xavier Văn Thuận. Five Loaves and Two Fish. Boston, Pauline Books & Media, 2003.